My Love, My Life. 3/12

As some of you may know it is World Autism Awareness Day. I thought i would tell you a little bit about Roman.

As you know Roman is autistic. When Roman was born he was rushed from Paulton Hospital to the RUH NICU, He had a lung infection and couldn't keep his body temperature up, even on a heat mat. The midwife was very concerned. After 3 days though he was home and he was a beautiful little boy. As the weeks went by he started smiling and would stare at me for minutes and minutes. Even the health visitor noticed he made a lot of eye contact with me. Everything seemed fine, until he was 8 months. He stopped responding to his name and no noise would startle him. Infact i made it my life mission to make him jump like his dad did when i scared him. Nothing. I started to get more and more concerned, but as Josh had just got diagnosed with 48 XXYY i kept it to myself. I didn't want everyone to dismiss my concerns and say 'just because one child has something doesn't mean your other does'.

By the time he was 13 months i couldn't keep my concerns to myself any longer. I went to the doctors as he wouldn't respond to any sound. That was when the "Autism" word was first mentioned. She said it could just be his hearing, and that needs to be checked ASAP. He had his first hearing test at 13.5 months, came back inconclusive. Second hearing test at 14 months again came back inconclusive. The health visitor and community nurse came around to do a SLOGS test. It came back LESS than newborn for hearing and he came below on quite a few other things.

14 months he had ANOTHER hearing test. This time in the RUH. Came back inconclusive although he certainly does have some hearing, they think he zones out or switches off.

17 months old he had his first appointment with Dr Lenton. He helped with Joshua so knew our family history. He wanted Roman to have his chromosomes tested and me and Matt's AGAIN. We had that done straight away. They came back fine. Roman does have a very small duplication in one of his chromosomes... But nothing to cause concern. Infact every single person in the world could possibly have a micro deletion or duplication and not ever know about it. That is what makes us completely unique.

At 19 months we had another appointment with Dr Lenton. I had no idea what to expect. I thought this was just 'another' appointment and was not prepared at all. I told Matt to stay at home. Again, i thought this was just a routine appointment. When i finally walked into the room with Roman there was a speech and language therapist there. She did tests on Roman while Dr Lenton explained everything to me. He told me that on his first meeting with Roman he noticed that Roman made ZERO eye contact with him. He said it was like he wasn't even in the room. He also said that he noticed that Roman was very repetitive. He would run from one corner, to the next to the next and to the next... Constantly repeating himself.

After about an hour of them watching Roman play, doing little tests on him (social, see how long he holds eye contact, role play etc...) they both looked at me and said roman DOES have an Autistic Disorder. He said that he will diagnose him so young because Roman will need a lot of input, input that he will not get if he is not diagnosed. He said that he is very delayed and withdrawn, and that there is no doubt in his mind that Roman is Autistic. I can vaguely remember them asking if i had any questions. But inside i was breaking. My head went to mush. All i kept thinking was "why both my boys? Why?". I walked out into the car, put Roman in his car seat, got in myself and just cried. It was like a dam had burst, like all the pain, all the unknowing, all the worries i had just came pouring out.

Roman is now a very bubbly 3 year old. He will be 4 on the 26th April. And my gosh does he make me smile. He has had very intense input. I had people coming to my house 3 times a week just for Roman. To help him. And it shows. He really is a very bright little lad and i'm so damn proud of him. Hes is over achieving at nursery, something i NEVER expected. He is very good at technology. He is outstanding at maths and has a love for letters - especially 'K' , 'C' and 'S'.
He is going to school September. We have chosen a mainstream school that his sister and brother go to. They are a truly amazing school that will cater for any child with what every additional needs they have.

And that question that first popped in my head, the "why both my boys"? Well that has been replaced with "why not?". Why not them? Because as a family we are unique, we are a fun loving family and we can give all THREE of our children all the support that they need. Yes it is VERY stressful at times, but we try to get by like every other family out there. I don't want us to be treated different. Just think... It could be worse. Our children are happy and healthy. That is what all parents want for they're children right?


Please head on over too this blog. So beautifully written. <3